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“Life satisfaction is 72 percent more likely among those who
feel satisfied with their family life.” And just how are you
to find that contentment? Start by reading The 100 Simple
Secrets of Happy Families -- “a book about real families,
the struggles and joys of their lives, and what they can do
to make their family life more satisfying.”
Psychologist and social scientist David Niven, Ph.D., is
author of the "100 Simple Secrets" series, including Happy
People, Great Relationships, Successful People and Healthy
People. In The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families, he
doesn’t stray far from a proven formula. Each short chapter
(there are 100) begins with an overview of the lesson
provided, a personalized anecdote and a summary of the
scientific study backing the idea.
Using this condensed formula, Niven is able to broach topics
from fatigue to jealousy, family pets to parenting the
parent, cherishing traditions to recognizing pleasant
stress. Sifting through studies about families done over the
years, he distills statistical findings into hard fact and
flavors them with true-life experiences.
Happy families don’t have to live in each other’s back
pockets. Frank, from Dayton, Ohio, claims that having time
with family friends, away from spouses and children, was
like a support group, where issues could be viewed from a
different perspective. “A little time apart has meant a long
time together.” Read about it in Chapter 88.
Realizing that parenting is not a popularity contest, that
it is okay to say no and stick with your decision, is the
subject of Chapter 44. When you read that “more than eight
of ten adult children can identify a decision their parents
made when they were young that they strongly objected to at
the time but think was appropriate in looking back at the
situation,” you can find comfort in sticking to what you
truly believe.
Finding common ground is a key to a cease-fire between
feuding in-laws. In Chapter 59, you’ll also learn that
“satisfaction with marriage is 13 percent more likely when
friendly relationships are maintained with both sets of
in-laws.”
I found the individual chapters of great interest, but
couldn’t read the book in one sitting. By design, The 100
Simple Secrets of Happy Families is better suited to the
nightstand or coffee table -- where you pick it up for
motivation, inspiration or general interest, read a relevant
chapter and allow it to digest. It might also work well as a
communication aid for family members to bring up issues they
haven’t been able to discuss.
Overall, this book was a surprise. I expected textbook
scenarios and doctoral responses; what I read were human
interactions backed up by scientific research. The 100
Simple Secrets of Happy Families is worthwhile to keep at
hand and pull out when you need a motivational moment.
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Megan Kopp/2005 for curled up with a good kid's book |
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For grown-up fiction, nonfiction and speculative fiction book reviews,
visit our sister site Curled Up With a Good Book (www.curledup.com)
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The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It by David Niven