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For parents who want to build a better emotional connection
with their children or teenagers, Raising a Secure Child is
a great manual filled with tips, techniques, anecdotes and
stories about how to do so. The author, Dr. Zeynep Biringen,
is the developer of the widely used Emotional Availability
Scales, and shows how the level of parental availability to
children can make or break the relationship.
Using the principles of emotional availability, along with
plenty of exercises and examples of how to put these
principles to use, Dr. Biringen teaches parents to identify
strategies of connection that work with their children,
assess the strong points and weak points of their
relationships and work on both, deal with behavioral
problems in different age groups, and build an emotional
safety net for children to serve as a powerful and effective
foundation for future success.
According to this information-packed book, just “being
there” for a child is not enough, it is really more about
the quality of your attentiveness and the state of your own
emotions that allows for true connection. Parents of foster,
adopted and disabled children can also find helpful
information about their special circumstances in this
comprehensive guide to relationship.
The book covers the Eight Principles of Emotional
Availability, the two sides of emotional connection, the
impact of your own childhood on your child (you may be
harboring more childhood baggage than you think!), ways to
keep the connection strong even during stressful times, and
supporting your child through their school years, divorce,
remarriage or a major crisis, when the bonds of deep
connection can often become fragile.
For parents eager to learn more, the author provides a very
detailed reference section filled with books that further
explore the topics discussed, and there is even a website
for the author, www.emotionalavailability.com, for more
details on creating a strong and secure child.
As a parent, I can truly say that nothing is more important
to me than my connection with my child, and I am eager to
try out whatever I can to do a better job. Raising a Secure
Child is packed solid with advice and strategies that can
help make the parent/child bond a strong one in a way that
benefits both parties. I strongly recommend it for any
parent who is willing to learn, and to do the often hard
work that comes with raising a child into a fully
functioning, happy human being.
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Raising a Secure Child: Creating an Emotional Connection Between You and Your Child by Zeynep Biringen, PhD