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I can’t stand perfect women. And when those perfect women are moms to boot, I really want to throttle them. Seems I am not alone in my distaste for The Woman Who Is Always Tan And Has A Flat Stomach, for hilarious authors Lauren Allison and Lisa Perry share my distrust for women who scrapbook 24/7, have perfect abs after popping out four kids, and for those icky high-falutin’ Brownie Leaders who make the rest of us look like troop poops.
This selection of essay-style stories will have women and even men laughing out loud in recognition because we all know some mom who is just above herself with perfection, who never fails to make the rest of us look like bad, ugly, frumpy, dumb, unaccomplished and, well, terrible mothers. These are funny stories filled with truth and biting sarcasm.
It’s all about keeping up with the Joneses, and in this case, the Joneses are those obnoxious creatures who always look, behave and dress impeccably, have the perfect house and yard, throw the perfect birthday parties, make the perfect crafts, and generally preside as neighborhood leaders in every way possible. But it’s the tone of the essays, written from the perspective of the not-so-perfect mom, that really make you laugh. The sharp wit and down-and-dirty comparisons make an for entertaining read, even as they have you looking out your kitchen window seething at the neighborhood mom with the perfect body, perfect husband and perfect kids. Until you notice, with some strange delight, that her garage door has a nick on it. HA!
The Woman Who Is Always Tan… won’t make you feel any better about your total inability to put together a great birthday party for your six-year-old…until you realize that your kid doesn’t give a damn if you or the party is perfect. It’s you, sweet momma, that needs to lighten up, laugh, and be proud of your imperfect “goddessness.” Lauren and Lisa will show you how.
But put on a little self-tanner first, okay?
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The Woman Who Is Always Tan & Has a Flat Stomach (And Other Annoying People)